"The power of Christ compels you" Episode 111 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1973 head spinning, pea soup vomiting, Mother sucks cocks in hell-ing classic The Exorcist. Ryan and Mark discuss their Halloween costumes, misogyny in the car and why we love big Pazuzu. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy…

"My old scoutmaster used to say 'If the shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route" Episode 110 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2017 off license murdering, Swedish hiking, sacrifice to a massive goating classic The Ritual. Ryan and Mark discuss why men like each other mo…

"Aaaaaaaddddddddrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiaaaaaaaannnnnnnn" Episode 109 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1976 meat pounding, stair running, Italian Stallioning classic Rocky. Ryan and Mark discuss online trolls, Chat GPTs writing us some jokes and the morals of allowing someone with learning difficulties take on a world tit…

"Rubber dinghy rapids bro." Episode 108 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 bleach buying, crow exploding, Dancing In The Moonlighting classic Four Lions. Ryan and Mark discuss taking photos at Auschwitz, Donald Trump impressions and why this is the darkest comedy you will see. Please get in touch and let us kno…

"Would you mind lending me your wife?" Episode 107 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 old man pumping, brick metaphoring, hippo auctioning classic Indecent Proposal. Ryan and Mark discuss memorials, dirty talk in bed and ask why the fuck Billy Connolly is in this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you…

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM" Episode 106 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 primo noctusing, York sacking, hung drawn and quaretering classic Blraveheart. Ryan and Mark discuss soap operas, multiple celebrity deaths and try to figure out whether anything in this film is accurate. Please get in touch and let us know if…

"I just want to be perfect" Episode 105 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 pirouette-ing, plié-ing, arabesque-ing classic Black Swan. Ryan and Mark discuss pickling things, what you would do if you won the lottery and why most actors don't deserve to win Oscars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy …

"What's in the box"? Episode 104 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 force feeding, Wild Bill leathering, deadly sinning classic Se7en. Ryan and Mark discuss being in the Outer Hebrides, how you lamp someone and the best way to prevent being sexually assaulted in prison. Please get in touch and let us know if yo…

"Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton." Episode 103 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1978 earth spinning, cape swaying, fortress of solituding classic Superman. Ryan and Mark discuss the Fringe, unappreciative children and whether there was any need to see baby Superman's penis. Ple…

"Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God." Episode 102 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird cage smashing, library assassining, shootout baby carrying classic Hard Boiled. Ryan and Mark discuss losing to the homeless, shite trains and why Hong Kong's police force is the…

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?" Episode 101 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 ear-slicing, Like A Virgin-ing, Super Sounds of the 70's-ing, classic Reservoir Dogs. Ryan and Mark discuss their festival weekend, The Lionnesses and Nelson suggests this film created podcasts. Plea…

"Here's to swimming with bow-legged women" Episode 100 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1975 child eating, barrel raising, farewell and adieuing classic, abd GREATEST FILM EVER MADE Jaws. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to sugges…

"For me the action is the juice" Episode 99 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 armoured car ramming, street shootouting, GREAT ASSing classic Heat. Ryan and Mark talk about the deaths of Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan, the Coldplay couple and decide on who is better, Pacino or De Niro. Please get in touch and let…

"Nobody puts baby in the corner" Episode 98 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 watermelon carrying, backstreet abortioning, time of my lifeing classic Dirty Dancing. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson's holiday scam, autistic celebrities and why Swayze deserved a better career. Please get in touch and let us know …

"I told you I'm different. I could have dropped you with the sharks." Episode 97 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Sphinx squatting, Colliseum scrapping, blond Samuel L Jacksoning disaster Jumper. Ryan and Mark talk about things being gay, Cullen ruining yet another Whatsapp group and why Hayden Christiansen h…

"Sell me this pen." Episode 96 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2013 dwarf tossing, lude tanning, fun couponing classic The Wolf Of Wall Street. Ryan and Mark talk about Bonnie Blue, lawless golf and whether this film glamourises being a horrible human being. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the po…

"I say kill them all, and let fate sort out the mess." Episode 95 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 keyboard smashing, rat exploding, bullet bending classic Wanted. Ryan and Mark talk about fridges, the population of Andorra and what Arnold Schwarzenegger says during sex. Please get in touch and let us know if…

"Have you ever heard the expression "Let sleeping dogs lie"? Sometimes you're better off not knowing." Episode 94 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1974 water warring, nose slicing, sister and daughtering classic Chinatown. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson dying his hair again, World War 3 and the horribleness of Ro…

"Did you ever get busted for bopping?" Episode 93 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 tractor chickening, mill swinging, Sunday shoe kicking offing disaster Footloose Ryan and Mark talk about the size of Cullen balls, Chat GPT and why no one in the film can actually dance. Please get in touch and let us know if …

“Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” Episode 92 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 enamel making, red coat wearing, hope reaffirming classic Schindler's List. Ryan and Mark talk about Sydney Sweeney's bath water, mental books for kids and find out a wild nearly casting for this film. Please get in …

"This is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you." Episode 91 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 , rock climbing, disease creating, motorbike jousting classic Mission Impossible II. Ryan and Mark talk about farting on cakes, Napoli and why Ethan…

"It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease" Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath worming, exploding in a barn-ing classic Slither. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's memorable taxi journey, blood tests and why this is the most fucked up film they have seen in a long time. Please…

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve" Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 child smoking, leech pulling, competitive pie eating classic Stand By Me. Ryan and Mark talk about if certain things would get you arrested, Cullen conquering LA and how you should remove a lee…

"I'm your huckleberry" Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic Tombstone. Ryan and Mark talk about how pish coffee is, golf and what character we would be in a Western. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to…

"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch" Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson asks the most controversial question on the podcast to date. Please get in touch and let us know if you e…

"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!" Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying classic Mississippi Burning. Ryan and Mark talk about Judas, Willem Dafoe's cock and Cullen reveals the most me…

"Guns don't kill people. People kill people" Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes and Nelson gets Cullen with the best one for a while. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy th…

"You've got red on you" Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes and the best weapon to kill a zombie. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gue…

“Allow myself to introduce... myself.” Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and disagree over how hot Elizabeth Hurley is. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, …

“You gotta always protect the McNuggets” Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel talk about WhatsApp group nicknames, Karl Urban & fight about their movie tastes. Normal service resumes nex…

"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"." Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk about St Paddy's Day, Nelson's first lads holiday and find out the dogs were the real stars of this film. Pl…

"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?" Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger bleeding, Caravaning classic Whiplash. Mark & Ryan talk about breakfast in a bag, the Glastonbury line up and what is more important, greatness or happiness? Please get in touch and let us know if yo…

"Nice beaver" Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic The Naked Gun. Mark & Ryan talk about modern audiences, getting out of jury duty, and why this film deserved an Oscar. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gues…

"I suppose a ride is out of the question?" Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with the ladsing, drinking while pregnanting classic The Snapper. Mark & Ryan discuss eating chicken in bed, Popes and whether this is the most Irish film ever made. Please get in touch and let us k…

"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking, Chardonnay drinking, massive pant wearing horror show Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark & Ryan discuss Amsterdam, Ozempic and why there only seemed to be about 12 English actors through the whole of the 90s…

"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum" Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 wasp choking, Owen Wilson shagging, sneering at J-Loing classic Anaconda. Mark & Ryan discuss ruining wrestling for kids, Cullen Oscar play offing Nelson and fucking J…

"Swing away Merrill" Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking classic Signs. Mark & Ryan discuss what they would do to each other's corpses, where Cullen has stuck his inhaler and Nelson presents another of his theories about this film. Please get in touch a…

“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement" Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 thong wearing, oestrogen slurping, herpes advertising bin fire John Tucker Must Die. Mark & Ryan discuss Nazis in the White House, speaking Czech and why it would be better if someone actua…

"Pop quiz hot shot” Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic Speed. Mark & Ryan discuss why you don’t get many mad bastards anymore, Nelson explains his marathon idea and whether Keane belongs on the action star Mount Rushmore. Please get in touch and let …

"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees." Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling, Cocaine blooding, Miley Cyrusing classic The Night Before. Mark & Ryan discuss Bram Stoker, how Christopher Reeve died and Ryan revisits his hatred of Anthony Mackie. Please get in touch and…

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare footing, yippe ki aying, now I have a machine gunning classic Die Hard. Mark & Ryan discuss shite advent calendars, Nelson's anti ageing process and what Die Hard is really about. Please get in touc…

"SANTA" Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed ninimugginsing classic Elf. Mark & Ryan discuss hangover cures, the state of modern society and Nelson ruins yet another family favourite with his theories. Please get in touch and let us know if yo…

"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year" Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning, sticky banditing, Trump cameoing classic Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York. Mark & Ryan discuss dodgy tax deductions, balloon sculpting and Nelson builds on his theories about Peter McAllister an…

"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime." Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep shooting, FILA wearing, cunt ordering classic The Business. Mark & Ryan discuss dentists, Wicked and Nelson reveals the wildest film fact yet. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the pod…

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it" Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 school skipping, Ferrari joyriding, Danke Schoening classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Mark & Ryan discuss Gladiator 2, what happened to Cullen's socks and Nelson presents …

"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe." Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft crawling, PTSDing classic First Blood. Mark & Ryan discuss poppies, why London is shite and the Mount Rushmore of action stars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wha…

"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women." Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping, Irish alcoholicing, Joshua Tree shoot-outing classic Seven Psychopaths. Mark & Ryan discuss the US election result, the Edinburgh beheading and whether Cullen is a psychopath. Please get in …

"We are never going into the woods again" Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in breeding horror Wrong Turn. Mark & Ryan discuss stealing from train companies, Trump on Rogan and cannibals. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like …

"What's your favourite scary movie?" Episode 63 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 Barrymore slashing, Arquette stabbing, ghost facing classic Scream. Mark & Ryan discuss DIY haircuts, sex after relatives have died and why the Woodsboro police force are the worst in the world. Please get in touch and let us kno…

"I'm too old for this shit" Episode 62 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 building jumping, bullet eating, mullet sporting classic Lethal Weapon. Mark & Ryan discuss new bald news, sexual tension with opticians and why this is ones of the greatest action films of all time. Please get in touch and let us know if…