Oh, hey! Are you still here? Well, he died. Let's chat about that plus Elon Musk's X Premium+ Grok AI gone woke and whatever the Garfield Eats guy is up to these days. This is our victory lap. We all outlived him! Be happy for us, and be happy for yourself! Join our Discord. Bye for now! We'll be back if he dies again. Featuring: Sara, Jo, Roy, and…

SATAN is👹⚔️ workin overtime 💪💪to make a new level of hell 🪚⚒🪚cause 🎉🎉💀HENRY PISSinger☠️ has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED🪦🪦🎉🎉!! u may know this proPIGandist🐽🐽 by his greatest hits: BOMBINGS 💣, GENOCIDES 👎😡😢, MILITARY💂 COUPS💥, and other 🚔🚔CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🏴‍☠️!! but DID U KNOW 🧠❓he was also someone hillary clinton 👵🏻 considered a close personal friend😘👯…

Hey, cool kids! After a uhhhh 90 day retreat into the danger zone, HKIP is back to deliver our wacky verbal crimes via the power of RSS (real silly shit). Join Sara, Val, and John in the Flora and Fauna Fanclub (also, we talk about things)! Topics this week:Joe Biden: trans ally? (no)Anti-trans billsWhat is pipehitting?Independence DayJustin Trudea…

We're baaack! Sara, John and Val shake off the rust to discuss our new President, Joe Biding His Time, aka Joe Bidet-n, and whatever the hell a Parliamentarian is. Other topics include New York politician scandals, land defenders, Mr.s Foot and Boot, and an athlete's oopsie (extremely offensive) stream word. Warnings, we discuss bidets and ...their…

Well, it actually happened. President Wario has been forced to retire, both from the presidency and from posting. In honor of our least favorite game show host/pile of rancid old yogurt in a suit, we've compiled a list of 64 of his most iconic, bewildering, "jesus christ this guy was really the president, huh" moments and created a bracket. What wi…

We did it! We successfully posted our way through 2020. Thank you for sticking through it with us. On this episode, Sara, Alex Leafcrunch, and John talk about holding the defense budget hostage for $2,000 ransom, Pretendians, Daddy Doug Ford, #carp, and 2020 in general! Sorry! Featuring: Sara, alex leafcrunch, and John. Edited by John. Intro: The T…

Well, the election happened I guess! Matt, Sara and Val talk about that for a bit before John heard us talking about Indigenous issues without him and joined us for an update on the Mi'kmaq lobster fisheries. Also Canada's stupidest culture war is back with a vengeance! Featuring: Matt, Sara, Val and special guest John. Edited by Matt. Intro: The T…

"Oops! (Almost) All Lightbringers!" This week, Val and alex talk about politics and news, for a little while. Topics include the American vice presidential debates, and the funny American president having the virus. Then, for the majority of the episode, they talk about things that have been making them feel happy. Intro: The Taxpayers - Evil MenOu…

Bit of a bummer one this week, folks! Val and Sara are here to talk a lot about RBG's tragic death at the hooves (and horns) of a rampaging bull and the politicking that has followed the opening up of her seat on the supreme court. We also take a bit of time to discuss the literal actual genocide happening at the hands of ICE and settlers trying to…

Matt and Sara discuss the very truthful subjects of windmilling a pissballoon off your dick to own cops, salon entrapment, Pig Poop Balls, the Biden campaign shrinking into a corncob, and Joe Kennedy III making car crash history, which his family loves to do. They also discuss more serious topics like what's happening in Rochester NY right now, but…

In a special bonus episode, Sara and alex are joined by friend of the show John for a deep dive into the conflict between Haudenosaunee land defenders and Ontario land developers at Six Nations of the Grand River Reserve, as well as the centuries of historical events that provide context. If that sounds way too serious for HKIPGTD, don’t worry! It’…

Hello fellow Democrats! Welcome back to HKIPGTD where we're definitely excited for the DNC!! Caroline gives an update on the big beautiful boat rallies of Portland, Sara talks the mail which no one is talking about at all, why is no one talking about the mail? Meanwhile the only Canada story Matt can summon is about a cigar-smoking sock puppet. No …

Many will tell you Roy is finally back on HKIPGTD! She and Sara are here to discuss the overwhelming everything of it all. Topics include passing the joink over Zoom, giving Joe Kennedy III the ol’ spinorama, the funniest way to have your First Amendment rights denied, and a journey through a very website website. Featuring Roy and SaraEdited by al…

What the fuck is up, gamers! Today, Val Matt and alex discuss the supreme court, reopening schools, the Liberal Party of Canada, and other extremely fun, relatable topics! No Brasilian presidents were harmed in the filming of this podcast. Due to some technical issues, Val’s audio is rough but improves around 13 minutes in. Apologies for that! Host…

We're back! After about a month away, Matt and Sara reconvene to talk a little bit about the protests (they're good), the cops (they're bastards), and the McChicken-style projectiles that the police have been assaulted by (they're tasty!). We also talk about Matt Gaetz's very real adult son, one of the most provably wrong right-wing adages, and a p…

What if Batman had cilantro instead of a superiority complex? alex and Val talk about a lot of other issues before we get to this question, like Joe Biden and Garfield Eats, but those are less important. Hosts: alex leafcrunch and Val flightcub who edited Music used: Evil Men – The Taxpayers Batman Theme – Neal Hefti…

Matt, Val, and Sara continue to have a very normal and regular one this episode. They discuss J*cob W*hl, the Supreme Court, the virus, and #regimechange #tactics #crossfit. There’s also a healthy dose of tangents, and some Marge Simpson voice thrown in at the end. Music used: Evil Men – The Taxpayers Ladies – Fiona Apple Edited by Val…

Avengers who? Say hello to the most ambitious crossover event in history as Ciarán from Corner Spaeti comes on to give us all the info we need about last week’s Labour leaks, and we commiserate over the universal experience of moderates sabotaging the progressive wing of our country’s party. We also talk about the political alignments of the Mushro…

Val and Sara discuss healthcare, electoral politics, the virus, and the effects of each on the others. Plus ska, Yogi Bear, what a son debate might sound like, and Sara’s presidential bid as America’s first ever business-lady President. Nicknames this week come from this article, a Medium op-ed (not an article from The Onion as stated in the episod…

Folks, we may be stuck at Pokémon HOME for the foreseeable future but you can’t deny that soon we’ll be Pokémon Laughing All The Way To The Polls! Join Sara, Val, Matt and the triumphantly returning Caroline for a definitely not pre-recorded livestream because they have all definitely still been alive for the past week. The celebs are at it again, …

In this very special episode, Henry Kissinger is Pokemon Going to The Movies! Our discord streamed Cats (2019), and we just had to record an episode about it. Sam, Sara, Matt, and Val have a lot to discuss, and a lot to learn about cats- are they dogs? Tune in to find out! Edited by Val.بقلم HKIPGTD

Social distancing can’t stop us from podcasting, baby! Sara and Matt are here this week to learn about what good polls are like, relish the death of the original Bitcoin, and talk about some comforting anime in this trying time! Hosted by Sara and Matt Edited by Sara! Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men Jeff Rosenstock – You, In Weird Cities…

Can we get some Fs in the chat for the bevy of presidential hopefuls who suspended their campaigns last week? Can we ask ourselves which other adjectives can be used to describe a Tuesday? Can we abolish a country that’s really just three mining companies in a trenchcoat? We’ll take your lack of response as a yes. Hosted by Val, Matt, alex Edited b…

In this week’s snackable episode, Sara and Val discuss: Mike Bloombefg, Bernard Sanders, the ongoing Wet’suwet’en protests, twitter, and why Sonic the hedgehog has a micropenis. They kick off the episode with that last one, actually. Hosted by Val and Sara Edited by Val Music Used: Evil Men – The Taxpayers Hall of Mirrors – Capercaillie (aka our ve…

Hey folks! It turns out you didn’t subscribe to the full version of HENRY KISSINGER IS POKEMON GOING TO DIE so we have remotely deleted your phone’s contents, courtesy of Tesla! Main topics this week include the Iowa Caucus and subsequent debate (🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀 #RatMode #BuyingGuide #LatestHoverboards #Swegway #SaturdayMorningVibes) and Canada perpetuatin…

What ghostly horde do i see cresting over yonder hill? It’s a four-person episode of Henry Kissinger is Pokémon GOing to Die! Well, at least for part of it. Who’s peach? Where’s Saskatchewan? Is Spain okay? Find out the answers to these questions and more by tuning in now! For your viewing pleasure, the normal image of the president discussed aroun…

This week, Zoey hosts a fun round of The Price is Wrong with Val and Sara. Come along with us as we learn all about the hidden world of historical(?) fiction on Am*zon! Our hosts also discuss Jeff Bezos, impeach time, people who do and don’t like Bernie Sanders, and Pete B’s own “please clap” moment. Hosted by Zoey, Sara, and Val who edited also Mu…

Live from a toilet at the bottom of a well! It’s alex leafcrunch! Val is also here but they sound normal. Imagine they’re sitting on the sill of the well and keeping her company so she doesn’t feel so alone down there. It’s just like that one episode of the Simpsons. The dynamic two-o give you the lowdown on your soon-to-be-favourite sovereign song…

Rejoice, listeners, your long national nightmare is over! Henry Kissinger is Pokemon GOing to Die returns to the fray after taking a month to rest off the burnout. We return with a slightly tweaked format, but don’t worry, someone says “Peepee Poopoo Johnson” at some point and Sara talks about Nancy Pelosi doing orange justice so not that much has …

Happy New Year, gamers! Roy, Zoey, Sara, Caroline, Matt, Alex, Matt, alex, and Val give their predictions for the year 2020, and recount their lightbringers of 2019. Is this the year that Mr.H.K. is P.G.T.D.? This and other questions are answered from our very own prognosticators. Reflect on the past year and look forward to our future together wit…

🍑🌱?!? Val and the Matts of Gamecube and Scotland discuss Elon’s cybertruck, the CN strike, the British leader debates, and the therapeutic effect of eating one (1) ice cream. If only Joe Biden would listen to their advice! It’s not too late to just eat an ice cream instead, Joe. Also an announcement: HKIPGTD is going on break for the month of Decem…

Matt and Sara take you on a gaming adventure before going way over their heads trying to talk about Bolivia. Also, we weigh the idea of respecting the troops during hockey and also at Panera Bread. Featuring: Sara and Matt, who also edited. Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus [Dogshit Big Structural Bailey Edit By Mat…

This week we’ve got kind of a Zoey and Roy one! The Royal Canadian Legion invites us all to have a solemn gaming moment and Zoey does some Amazon shopping for some good products. Fallon also stops by to talk about everyone’s least favourite voice actor. And remember, Morrissey is Pond Scum! Featuring: Zoey and Roy Edited by Matt Music used: The Tax…

This week, Sara and Matt (Not GameCube) discuss who’s peach, who’s putting cool racing stripes on their oil pipelines, whose hometown eats a recordbreaking amount of domino’s pizza, and more! A veritable who’s who of an episode. Snap election time, baybee!!!! Featuring: Sara and Matt Edited by alex leafcrunch Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men OG…

This episode is jam-packed. Val and alex discuss, among other things: the fallout of the Canadian election, Republicans on their various celled phones, a Twin Peaks/Riverdale crossover, AOC vs. Mark Shmuckerberg, matryoshka hitmen, trees, and Tay Zonday’s newest single, Mama Economy. Music used: Evil Men – The Taxpayers Train – Danny Gonzalez Mama …

Originally intended as a short segment on this week’s episode, Matt’s discussion with friend of the show Sarah ran long enough to release on its own. Sarah helps give us a simple primer on the history of a divided Ireland and just how badly Boris Johnson is fucking everything right up.بقلم HKIPGTD

This one’s a whole lotta episode! Val and Sara squeeze in topics from last week while also talking about dem debates, Ellen the Generous’s choice in friends, The Blob, and some normal guys doing normal things like writing letters and ignoring subpoenas. We get to the bottom of what PG&E stands for, and what should be done about transgender kids who…

Hello friends and well-wishers, today we have two of the Canadian hosts of our fair pod to help explain the Canadian political system with help from our friends Bean (from The Island Shuffle) and Emma (who joined us for our Ontario Election special last year). We go over the political parties (all six of them!), the parliamentary system and talk ab…

Canada’s elections, presidential normal ones, cars, and thoughtcrime advertisements are all brought to you by the letter Q! Hosted by Matt and Val Edited by Roy Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men Nickelback – Photograph (Pokemon GBA Soundfont Remix by Roy)بقلم HKIPGTD

Sara makes her triumphant return to HKIPGTD and regains her platinum “cohost with every host” trophy. Matt (Scottish) gives us the LoDo on BoJo. The Canadian election continues to happen and I appreciate the non-American hosts talking about it at all! Hosted by Sara and Matt Edited by alex leafcrunch Music used: The Taxpayers – Evil Men…

Apologies for the confusion, the first version of this episode had some severe audio issues, so we took it down to re-edit. This is the final, fixed version, including 7 minutes and 29 seconds of content that was previously unusable. Little bit of an easy-listening episode this week, as we gather round to talk about other podcasts and try to rememb…

One of the greats has left us. We gather here today to discuss the falling of a titan, the passing of one of the last few old souls left in the world. We speak, of course, of Jeremy Renner The App. It’ll live forever in our hearts. In addition to that post-mortem, Matt Gamecube talks about some stupidity in Canadian politics, Val gives us the rundo…

Our usual British correspondent Alex was busy so we brought on a very special and very Scottish guest to fill us in on all the latest from across the pond. What is proroguing? Can you cook it in a skillet? Will the Matts be forced into unarmed combat to establish dominance, or will they do what the Alexes did and just sort themselves by capitalizat…

Batten down the hatches, everyone – Matt got a soundboard. Amidst all the clips blasted out of his computer, alex leafcrunch and Val break down Bernie’s Laborpalooza plan, Matt bargains for Greenland, alex falls down some stairs and experiences a heated podcasting moment, Tangerine Lemon proves the haters wrong, and Brooks gets softblocked. And als…

It’s a doozy this week folks! Caroline and Alex dive deep into a discussion of the completely normal circumstances of Epstein’s death, as well as some details about his life. So, content warning for discussion of child sexual assault and trafficking throughout. There are lighter topics though! Topics like the president yelling at the tv! Topics lik…

Folks! It’s Democratic Debates…. 2! Matt watched them and tried to explain them to Val and alex leafcrunch, who did not, and a bad time was had by all. We also discuss nationalized health care and transit from a Canadian perspective, online accessibility and brainstorm which biblical plague is coming for us next. All relevant links have been put on…

Democracy dies in darkness, folks, if you’re not using your money to fund Washington Post comparing Robert Mueller to Pickle Rick. Eden and Sara do their best to give them some freebies, as well as some follow-up gamer moments and the return of everyone’s favourite federal judiciary power: Execution! Featuring Sara and Eden. Edited by Matt. Music u…

HKIPGTD would like to welcome our newest host, Val! The gang discusses our favourite invertebrate, Nancy Pelosi, how Richard Spencer clearly wasn’t punched hard enough, the inherent dehumanization and wage theft present in low-wage labour and imposed colonial pressures in the modern day. All fun stuff! We also briefly lose our god damn minds when f…

Sorry this one’s so late! Got a bit tied up in editing so we’re a bit behind the times – nonetheless, we’re here to podcast! But more importantly, we’re here to give you an honest, no-bullshit take on something that’s been on top of everyone’s minds: what is up with everyone’s 2020 campaign logo? We also get to the hard-hitting questions like “What…

America was too busy popping off fireworks if you know what I mean (popping off fireworks) so it’s kind of a Canadian one! We talk a lot about environmental justice and how it affects every aspect of our lives. Don’t worry, we also talk about the communist Betsy Ross shoes and the political alignment of sandals. Featuring Matt and alex (whomst’d’ve…