Allow us to do a birthday party recap, Neighbor! Emmi Jane successfully turned nine years old, with only a small "Freak Out" involving tiny food and glue... This wasn't the first time Emmi lost her mind a little bit! Later: Is every 11-year-old boy exactly the same??? Pretty much. And finally: John told the Internet that boys play with Lego differe…

Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties 05:51 The Dominance of Christmas Music 11:04 Commercializing Thanksgiving Music 18:13 The Culinary Adventures of Warthogs and Iguanas 25:53 Thanksgiving Foods: The Unwanted and Unusual 32:21 The Weight of IQ: Family Dynamics and Social Awareness 40:50 The Lunchroom Legend 51:04 The Hot Pocket H…

It's a SCANDAL, Neighbor! Our 11-year-old boy was the target of racist insults at school... You won't believe the audacity of that 3rd grade bully. But that's nothing compared with the text message that is causing grown women to FEAR FOR THEIR BABIES. Tune in to laugh with us about the state of the country post-election--and to rejoice that the old…

In this conversation, the hosts explore various themes surrounding holiday decorations, particularly wreaths, and the cultural significance of Thanksgiving. They delve into the absurdity of certain holiday traditions and the role of food in celebrations, while also reflecting on the uniqueness of American holidays compared to global practices. In t…

Hey, Neighbor! Our Australian friend, Jasmine, has left the table--but her visit was so refreshing! She went Trick-or-Treating for the very first time, and it led to discussions about whether Satan's Holiday can be redeemed... (When is it appropriate to decorate with skulls.) Next: The Peaches shares her theory that "The Nightmare Before Christmas"…

Sound Bites "Sometimes people die and they don't tell you." "I think the best way to go would be on top of an asteroid detonating a nuclear device." "Do you gather everybody together under the pretenses of something else?" "Let's get the parasites." "Are you gonna stop eating red dyed food now because you know that it's coming from a bug?" "Cereal,…

Sorry this episode is a tad late, Neighbor. We're enjoying this week with our friend from Australia, Jasmine! Listen to the playful chatter for awhile... Then, help us determine the difference between a Friend and a Fan!بقلم John Branyan

Sound Bites "I'm actually... You can't see the sweat, but I've got two little sweat marks on my shirt." "I brought the incredibly funny Lisa Gilbert who has a Dry Bar special out and what's it called? All the Time Tired." "No outside carry-in food, drink or ice cream products. That's literally what it said." "That sounds like barbaric to me. That s…

We have an important question for you today: when you travel, do you unpack your suitcase and put things in the hotel dresser??? And speaking of traveling, the Peaches has a HOT TIP for packing clothes for lots of kids! Then: here's a sermon illustration you probably should NOT use... and an example of the world's worst Humor Sermon. Later: Put on …

Imagine our shock and horror when we realized this gem had been skipped over! It's here now and that's all that matters. "Why have we never seen a book written from the opposite perspective?" "Men don't mind being objectified. That's every man's dream." "In this dystopian future, men would be content with their role as sex slaves." "Kids start to a…

Welcome to the table, Neighbor. Is there anything more manly than mowing your lawn? Modern gas cans suuuuuuuck. And also--if you have a bald baby girl, just put a bow on her head when you're going out! It will be a courtesy to strangers in public... To contact The Comedian's Family, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .…

Sound Bites "I made a sound, a pretty girly, feminine sound." "He was clinging to my arm as I tried to get him off." "Hornets are the jerks of the animal world." "There aren't very many cool injuries though, really." "Yeah, or you were trying to like rescue somebody from like, you know, push a car out of the street or something." "I don't ever want…

The McKinney's have BIG NEWS. (So, here's an obscure quote from an old movie... do you recognize it?) We chat about all the horn-tooting compliments we've received this week. Then: John shares another example of "men can't win" with the Feminists, no matter what they do. Later: You get to hear the advice that John shared with a Highschool-age Peach…

Takeaways Natural conversation is key in stand-up comedy, and segues are not always necessary. Internet connectivity can be unpredictable, causing interruptions in online conversations. The ironclad beetle is a fascinating creature that can withstand immense pressure. Being in the same room during a podcast recording can eliminate technical issues …

Welcome, Pkarghl! The Pod Ninja saw a church sign that he didn't like very much... If you want to make things REALLY WEIRD for the men at your church, John and Luke can tell you how. Then: God is very mad at librarians... But let John tell you about his conversation with Sheila Gregoire first. Later: If you want the PERFECT GAME for bossy women--ma…

Just me and Luke today. We manage to discuss some important concepts even without Brian and Juan. Takeaways Honesty in social interactions can lead to better understanding and communication. Sometimes we do things we don't want to do to accommodate our spouses or loved ones. Different people have different approaches to activities and hobbies. The …

Hey, Neighbor. If this is your first episode--please don't assume we ALWAYS talk about bodily functions... But, we're talking about them today. Two-month-old Bridger's life has improved significantly since probiotics turned his poo yellow. (That's the color a breastfed baby's poo is SUPPOSED to be.) From there, the conversation about ways to heal y…

The gang dives into theme songs, chronic pain, and the mysterious allure of pickup trucks. We swap hilarious stories about cigarette lighters, Fourth of July shenanigans, and the quirks of patriotism. Things get wild with tales of fireworks, vending machine ammo, and our lack of culinary snobbery—let’s just say we’re not foodies! We wrap up with a …

Hey, Neighbor! The McKinney Kids are at the table for another improv game. They answer some important questions--just one word at a time. We love laughing with these crazy characters... How do you know you've had a great birthday party? What's the best way to get rid of hornets? How do you make a birdhouse? Find out on today's episode. Email the Co…

This wasn't the right episode at first....but it is now. The gang gets nostalgic about cars, laughing over how we remember them more than people’s names. We joke about using cars as nicknames—hilarious or creepy? You decide. We also dive into the quirks of self-checkout machines and their fake gratitude, wishing they’d just give us a sarcastic “tha…

You can't just sit and listen to a podcast, Pkarlgh! The Podcast Ninja has spoken. Turns out, all of our attention spans are shorter than we'd like... What's the minimum amount of time you have to concentrate on something for it to count as "focus?" Then: Joe and Luke both have the sort of study habits that make their wives craaaaaazy. Later: Play …

The gang, with special guest Curtis Crow, dives into the hilarious transition from young to old—think reading glasses, sensible shoes, and pharmacy apps. We also chat about the wacky world of Guinness World Records and the absurdity of some titles. Then, we tackle the ultimate culture clash: marriage. Cue the awkward gift-giving scenarios with whit…

Welcome to the table, Pkarghl! We're joined by two, young McKinneys to play one of our favorite Family Improv games. But first--allow Luke to tell you about his latest KILL... Then, Cami and Collin help us demonstrate how easy it is to create comedy without ANY advanced planning or set-up! Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. An…

If you like outlines, you're going to LOVE this week's synopsis! Navigating life with oblivious kids? You'll need the patience of a saint and a sense of humor the size of Texas. Roughhousing: where childhood fun meets a near-certain trip to the ER. Gold mining: a high-stakes game of “Will I strike it rich or just strike out?” TV shows: where even t…

Hey, Neighbor, the family almost had to do this episode WITHOUT the Comedian because John is passing a kidney stone. But he is present and soldiering on! (If you struggle with the same ailment, Luke has a suggestion for something to try.) Drink more water, find the nearest theme park, and try to get some "bang" for your buck. Next: John and his wif…